“Listening is offering others the experience of being heard.” – Iam Saums
Video Interview with Lorenzo Malowane of “The New Agora” presented by “The New Now” inspired by my new article, “An Ear to Hear.”
To Transform Listening
“Changing how we hear things. Maybe a clearer way of understanding this is simply ‘learning to listen’. One of the hardest skills I’ve ever had to master is the skill of listening to others, striving to listen, to truly hear what’s being shared with me beyond my own thoughts.
As I recapitulate my time here in this life, from my childhood schooling to my adulthood, I can see, in all honesty, that I was barely ever really listening to others in a conversation.
Mostly I was thinking of my ‘agenda’, whatever that was at the time, and wondering how to get what I wanted. It started with ‘candy and toys’ as a little boy, and grew towards, well I guess you could say, adult versions of ‘candy’ and ‘toys’.
Having an agenda in a conversation, I feel, is perhaps one of the rudest things anyone can take into such interactions. If you are thinking of an outcome, no matter how loving or sweet you may feel it is, you are probably not hearing what is being shared. I was instead seeking to maneuver the moment towards what I wanted it to be, or what I wanted to get out of it, sometimes just wanting to get out of the conversation itself.
How utterly selfish and egotistical I was. if I’m not very careful in my communications I can still fall into any number of bad habits. It seems obvious now that if you are not ‘hearing’ what the other is attempting to communicate, you are not really being ‘loving’ and present in that moment. And by loving, I mean taking the other into consideration. Obvious, now, and yet it still takes a constant effort and attention, caring if you will
Not with just words, either. We all communicate in many different ways on many different levels, many we remain unaware of throughout. Body language, hidden emotions or feelings, unknown tendencies all come into play, whether we are conscious of them or not, during our day to day interactions with others.
Even alone in a room, it has become important to me to be clear with my hearing and listening. Enhancing my communication skills has been one of the best gifts I have ever given myself. Hard to beat self-knowledge.
In fact, it’s taken me years and years to determine the differences between my heart’s communication and my ‘head born’ fears. Emotions, beliefs, shadows, desires and old habits all influenced my attempts to share clearly with myself and with others. Figuring my way through these ‘traps of clarity’ have made me a much better person.
Much more to explore here. Attention and consciousness are interlinked.
In the following video, Iam Saums and I, go deeply into this topic. Perhaps it comes down to feeling something in your life that requires transformation, changing, and your instincts tell you some that parts of your life are crying out for attention, healing, change; well, a perfect place to begin would be to examine how you communicate, with yourself, with others, keeping a close ‘ear’ on your listening skills, or lack thereof.
After all, who doesn’t wish for love, abundance and happy relationships and such. Maybe if you feel any of these are somewhat lacking, an effort to ‘transform your listening’ may help you out. Couldn’t hurt. I’ve found that to honestly hear what the other is sharing can transform worlds. No matter the circumstances, becoming a better listener, for me anyways, has made me a better person.”
Hark! Heed! Hear! Attention. Be aware.
With much Love, Lorenzo